Attachment & Relationships
As human beings, we have evolved to need one another. There is no such thing as psychological wellbeing in isolation. Relationship is an essential cornerstone of our health, our wellness, and living into our full potential.
And yet, despite their importance, no one explicitly teaches most of us how to have good relationships. Instead, we learn our relational skills implicitly—that is, while it’s happening in relationship with our families, our friends, our teachers, our communities. Sometimes these contexts provide enough of the nurturing and holding that we need to thrive in this area. But for many of us, these environments are far from perfect, and leave us with some areas of growth or even trauma in the relationships department.
Attachment & Relationship Work Is For You If...
~You are stuck in old patterns or ways of relating that feel outdated
~You are wanting to call in deep partnership
~You are longing to heal from loss, betrayal, or rejection
~You are partnered and are looking to gain clarity in your relationships
~You are lonely and are looking for more connection
~You want to trust yourself to navigate conflict better
~You want to create more intimacy and aliveness in your relationships
The crux of relationship lies in our ability to hold space for ourselves and others at the same time. This means weaving together both sides of a number of polarities, including:
Having enough contact or togetherness that we feel connected to Other, yet enough space that we feel connected to Self
Creating boundaries that are strong enough to support our sovereignty, yet flexible enough to support our connectedness
Getting curious about our own experience, emotions, needs, and desires, while also getting curious about Other’s experience, emotions, needs, and desires
Through relationship work, we support you to step into the radical space of AND/BOTH — the space in which you can deeply tend to Self and Other simultaneously.
Some of what we might work on includes:
Getting clear on what you want from relationships
Developing strong, flexible boundaries that empower both you & others
Learning tools to navigate conflict safely & effectively
Healing from loneliness, avoidance, people-pleasing, or abandonment anxiety
Finding mutual empowerment in the face of anger or jealousy
Healing relational trauma, complex PTSD, or developmental/ attachment material
Getting connected to your body’s experience in relationships
Orienting toward deep nourishment & intimacy
Developing more kindness and tenderness in relationship with yourself
Developing greater trust in yourself and others
Our foundation is always our therapeutic relationship.
Attachment & relationship work is only effective if you feel safe and held in your relationship with your therapist. As we build our relationship of trust, your brain and body will be supported to regain a sense of safety and groundedness. From here, we will gradually bring awareness to the challenging patterns that have built up in you over time. Therapy is also a safe place to practice new relational skills. We get to figure out how to do it differently, in real time, together.